Monday, May 11, 2020
6 Core Steps to Figuring Out What You Want To Be - Kathy Caprino
6 Core Steps to Figuring Out What You Want To Be Image Courtesy of Pakorn on FreeDigitalPhotos.net In response to my Forbes, Huffington Post and AARP Work Reimagined posts, I hear one type of comment over and over again, more than any other, and it goes something like this: âI just donât know what I want. Despite all my efforts, I canât figure it out what I want to do.â I find this an amazing phenomenon that so many Americans have lost touch with who and what they want to be professionally. Dont get me wrong â" Iâm not judging anyone here, because this was me 12 years ago. I built an 18-year corporate career in publishing, marketing and membership services, and for most of it, I was outwardly successful. But throughout it all, I was inwardly very unhappy and kept asking âIs this all there is? I loved my family life, but my career was deeply unsatisfying. Despite my efforts to get help to figure out what else I should professionally (I saw a therapist and career counselor, took costly quantitative assessment tests [which Iâm not a fan of, by the way], etc.), I couldnât figure out what else to do. I finally did figure it out and forged a very fulfilling path, but it took years and some very costly missteps. After 10 years of serving as career coach and trainer to help professionals build more satisfying careers, Iâve uncovered why people are so resistant to career change. And Iâve created a successful model with a step-by-step program to help professionals build a career that delivers both the âessenceâ of what makes them happy, along with the right âformâ of it to suit their financial needs, values, life intentions, standards of integrity and more. So how do we do it? What are the six keys to figuring out what you really want? 1) Pull yourself out of the tiny box youâre trapped in All people who are stuck feel this way because theyâve made some costly or rigid assumptions about what they need to be happy or what theyâre capable of creating. These assumptions (often unconscious) keep them trapped in a tight little box with a lid that wonât budge. Some of these limiting assumptions are: I need to earn $XXXXXX to live the life I want My marriage or family wonât survive my making this change Iâll be too old by the time I make this change I donât have what it takes to reinvent myself or even repurpose what I do Iâm a loser and a failure â" I canât compete Iâm too unskilled or out of touch with current trends I have nothing important to offer Iâm not special Iâm too beat up and burnt out Nothing else will be better How can you get out of the box? Certainly not by yourself. You simply canât identify your special talents, capabilities and potential alone and in a vacuum. And you cant solve your problems on the level of awareness that they were created. Youâve got to involve someone else in the discussion about your life, and make it someone you respect, whoâs knowledgeable, successful and fulfilled in what they do, and who doesnât have an agenda about where you net out. Find someone today who can mentor, advise or coach you about whatâs possible, and help you see whatâs holding you back from identifying the power you have to make a difference, and the vast number of options that are truly available to you. If youâre trying to do this all by yourself, you just wonât make headway. 2) Donât throw the baby out â" look at what IS working along with what IS NOT Many people wake up in midlife to the fact that their careers are dissatisfying and unsuccessful, and theyâre so upset about it, they want to chuck the whole thing out. Donât make that mistake. Conduct a thorough assessment of what you would like to preserve and maintain in your current career, and get rid of only the parts that make you feel angry, sad, frustrated, and thwarted. After all, youâve been in this career for some time now â" itâs not all bad. You were attracted to it once, and you are utilizing some talents and skills that you want to continue to draw on. As an example, I spent years as a copywriter and marketing professional in publishing. I didnât enjoy writing copy for scientific books and journals, but I was good at it. Now, I use all of those copywriting skills daily (and enjoy them), for my own business, and as a marketing consultant helping career women, entrepreneurs and small businesses promote their brands and services. 3) Address your problems now, before making a change I make this a mandate in all the career coaching work I do â" that the client begin today to address and resolve whatâs making them miserable in the current job or career before they leap. Until you feel more empowered and become more controlled, authoritative, and masterful in your current situation, you canât expect to attract a better situation in the next chapter. Youâve got to do the inner and outer work to earn a âfantasticâ career â" itâs not just going to fall in your lap. Iâve found that once my clients do the work to address their problems in the current situation, their challenges tend to evaporate and often they donât need to leap to something completely different. (To learn more about how build your self-confidence, risk-tolerance, self-mastery and capabilities, visit The Amazing Career Project and download my free homework tool âAssessing and Closing Your Power Gapsâ). 4) Develop a supportive network and community that loves you I dont mean to sound like a broken record, but the reality is you cannot get where you want to in life and work if you donât have help. No matter where you are in your career, you need people to help you launch to the next level. Start building a more powerful network of loyal colleagues who admire and appreciate you and would be more than happy to help you do what you want. There are many ways to develop a community that will support you, including utilizing LinkedIn fully, offering endorsements and testimonials to people you respect, attending association and networking meetings of professionals in your field, reaching out to former colleagues who you admire, taking a class with other exciting, like-minded professionals, and the list goes on. (Here are a few helpful resources my free LinkedIn Primer and Resume Guide to get you started.) 5) Build your personal brand and tell your story well Before you can figure out what you really want and get it, you have to know who you are and tell a compelling story about yourself. Of the thousands of professionals I meet and work with each year, only a tiny fraction can answer these questions in a compelling and engaging way: What are you fabulous at and known for? What do you offer and do that is significantly different from what the best in your field do? What were you noticed for back when you were a teen and young adult? What skills, talents, abilities make you stand out? What life experiences have shaped you in special ways? What are your Life Intentions? What are your core values â" the non-negotiables you need in life to be happy and fulfilled? Whom do you love to serve and support, and why? When youâre 90 years old looking back, what do you want to have given, contributed, stood for and achieved? If you canât answer these questions, you wonât figure out what you really want because you just donât know yourself well enough and others wonât know how to help you. To learn who you really are, take my free Career Path Self-Assessment. 6) Nowâ¦connect the dots After youâve done all this work, itâs time to connect the dots (listen to the amazing Steve Jobs talk about how to live before you die and âconnect the dotsâ). Figure out what paths will truly make sense for who you are and what you want to achieve in life. Gain clarity about the best path for you by conducting online, offline, passive and active (in-person) research, to answer these critical questions: What are my passions, and which of these make sense as a livelihood and which are better as hobbies? Based on the passions, talents and skills I have, what are the careers best suited to me? What are all the factors I need to address in planning my next direction (money, timing, energy, geography, family needs, support, enjoyment, health, etc.) In this process, am I making any erroneous assumptions about myself and my life that I need to rethink? Do I know what it takes to be successful in this new direction, and am I committed to it 100%? Do I really want to start my own business, or am I just running away from something? How will I fund my career change or transition? Where will I find the ongoing support I need? Donât make the same huge blunders that so many career changers make. Do the inner and outer work required to 1) discover who you are and what really matters to you, 2) overcome the obstacles in the way of your success, and 3) identify and âtry onâ the paths that make the most sense for you and your life. And get the help you need to reach your highest potential. Itâs takes a great deal of effort to LOVE who you are, and to relish your life and career. But what an incredibly enjoyable and rewarding path when you do.
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